Wahweap
Jenya, Nat, Mike, and I were nearing the end of our Utah backpacking excursion that took us to a half dozen amazing locales over the course of 9 days. We were driving in the southern part of the Escalantes with 16 hours left to go before we had to return our vehicle in Las Vegas (about 6 hours away). Still, we decided to squeeze in one more adventure. Earlier in the trip we saw a photo at a Springdale gallery of this otherworldly geological formation. Jenya got the tip from the gallery attendant that these hoodoos were in the southern Escalantes. Well, now here we were in the general region. So Jenya convinced us to go find 'em!
We hit the closest BLM (Bureau of Land Management) office and mentioned what we were looking for to the guy behind the counter. He said these were the Toadstool Hoodoos. On a cryptic topographical map he pointed to the approximate location and the odd chain of numbered BLM roads that would lead us to a trail head and then we'd have to hike another mile or two. Okay then.
As we left Jenya couldn't help but notice a photo on the wall that caught her attention. The others were already in the lot but Jenya and I stayed to investigate this photo as its caption was "Toadstool Hoodoos." But these hoodoos looked nothing like the formations we saw in that photo back in Springdale. It seemed the person at that gallery was clearly mistaken. Or the ranger. Or both?
This abnormality was somehow overridden and we continued to adhere to the instructions given to us. Fine. Maybe we're wrong. We entered the borders of the national monument, and the roads quickly became rough and the outside temperature quickly rose over 100 degrees.
We didn't get very far before we hit a fork in the road and got very confused about where to go next. It's not like there are big green signs and street lights around here. It was too bumpy to do much map reading so we stopped the car for a second to have a conference.
Out of nowhere a BLM ranger pulled up - which was rather unusual. I've been on BLM lands many times before over the years, and this was the first time a ranger or anybody official just happened to cross my path. He flagged us down and asked if we needed help. We told him about our quest. I made it a point to describe the formations we sought in clearer terms and he came to realize we weren't looking for the Toadstool Hoodoos. We were looking for the Wahweap Hoodoos. A-HA! We were right! So luckily we happened to notice that caption at the BLM office, and luckily we happened to run into this ranger, otherwise we would have been quite disappointed. Or lost. Or dead from exposure.
With a new set of directions clearly noted in pen on our map, the ranger continued on his way and we headed down deeper, warmer paths into the heart of the Escalantes. I turned onto a road "unrecognized" by the BLM, and we quickly saw why. It was scary. There were cliff ledges going off into small canyons below, major washouts and deeper dips, blinds hills and tight curves. I stayed on target, though it became impossible to traverse without occasional stops to get out and inspect pointy boulders and sudden ditches and how to best avoid them without popping tires or getting the entire undercarriage scooped out. What are we doing?!
Eventually we reached a bend around which was a rather steep descent into a small valley and onward. This couldn't be the right way, could it? Once again we found ourselves stopped at the side of the road having a conference.
The silence in such a remote, desolate place is almost painfully quiet. This is why we were somewhat startled by the faint buzzing of unknown origin in the distance. The sound grew louder until a set of 3 ATVs and their drivers came into view.
They saw us and our stopped car and asked if we needed help. Once more we found ourselves describing our quest. One of them knew what we were talking about and said we were definitely on the right path. And we certainly did have to go down that steep hill, but the road ends just on up ahead at a wire fence, and then all you have to do is walk a mile or two down the wash and there you are!
As if to prove it wasn't impossible, they went on ahead down the hill and disappeared out of view, never to be seen again. Inspired, we got back in the car and made it to the valley without dying, and down the road, and to a wire fence. Yay! We did it!
Still, it was very hot and sunny. We had about on liter of water each. And we're about 10 very slow miles from the highway now. Any danger and we're fucked. We broke out our sunscreen and hats.
So... which way is *down* the wash? That way, or *that* way? Turns out none of our previous guides told us this key bit of information. And we weren't in clear agreement amongst ourselves. In a rare case of democracy actually working we voted 3-1 which way was down, and began our trek by foot. We didn't have much time to be wrong at this point, so we could only hope the majority was correct.
It was! After a mile or so we could see the Wahweap Hoodoos in the distance, just like in the photo. We leapt for joy and quickened our pace down the wash to this absolutely bizarre grove of unique geological shapes. They all towered above us, some maybe 20 feet high - these giant alien creatures with huge sandstone heads and long, flowing limestone cloaks. Many pictures were taken.
Pleased with our success we marched victorius back to the car and found our way out of the BLM maze and onto the refreshingly smooth highway. We still had enough time to make it to Springdale to drop off rental gear and eat some nasty burritos, and then to the Las Vegas airport to drop off our rental vehicle and sleep on the floor until our flight home.
[ Editor’s note: Sorry been super busy catching up on life after some a whole bunch of crazy work/music/travel adventures, hence the late submission this week… ]