Race
I rode shotgun in Mike's Peugeot as we went over the Tappan Zee Bridge, aiming to hang out with some of his buddies in Westchester. After a long evening of playing Commodore Amiga games, we headed back home. The sun roof was open as it was a pleasantly mild evening.
Before leaving the neighborhood a giant spider appeared outside at the base of the windshield. Probably a dark fishing spider (which were big and common enough around there). Mike was terribly arachnophobic, and all conversation stopped dead - nothing but the sound of rubber on road as we continued down this long suburban thoroughfare, the two of us staring at the creature in disbelief.
Fighting the wind, the spider began to gingerly crawl up the glass. We simultaneously remembered and then looked up to confirm: oh right, the sun roof is open. Shit! Mike jabbed his finger on the button to close it. The gears engaged, and the roof began sliding forward to close, at the rate of about one inch per second.
Meanwhile the arachnid lurched forward and upward at a similar velocity. The race was on. Mike pressed the button harder, though that had no effect. The spider climbed higher while the opening above our heads shrunk far too slowly. You may ask, "what about using the wiper?" Well, we didn't dare engage it lest we end up with smeared spider guts or, worse, inadvertently helping to push it farther up the glass or even flicking it instantly through the gap and onto one of our laps. We also couldn't slow down - the wind seemed to impair its creepy progress, and all we needed now was for it to break into a sprint. We didn't want to speed up either and thus potentially blow the damn thing right into our faces.
The battle continued. The spider cautiously stretched out leg after leg and pulled itself towards our warm human bodies. The grinding of the sun roof grew louder and louder. These next 20 seconds seemed like 20 minutes. I think one of us finally couldn't help but shout, "come ON!"
Just as the first of the monster's eight appendages reached the top of the windshield the roof sealed shut, and Mike and I finally exhaled. That was too close.