Microresolutions
I always felt long, wearisome New Year's resolutions were a recipe for failure. Why not tackle shorter self-improvements goals instead? In 2010 I aimed to do just that - instead of a one-year challenge to myself, I aimed for twelve that only went on for a month each. You can do anything for 30 days, right? Seemed like a great idea, but here's how that turned out for me.
In January I decided to completely cut out sugar and alcohol. This really isn't that hard on paper, but without proper planning and knowledge this could get you into trouble. The alcohol part was no problem - I'm not much of a drinker. Sugar was really hard to avoid, though. They put it in everything, often needlessly. But I was also pretty clueless about how different carbs were affecting me. I felt fine for the first couple of weeks, but once my body calibrated a bit I became sensitive to any sugar intake. For example I'd eat some seemingly harmless energy bar with dates and my pancreas would start screaming. Basically any dried fruit would give me sort-of-diabetic symptoms (having to pee constantly while also being dehydrated). I admit my ignorance about problematic quantities and unexpected sources of sugar led me astray. And when you start panicking about how certain foods are messing you up, you eat less in general, which means you eat less protein, which is really what I needed the most. This was supposed to make me feel better and reduce my anxiety. Instead I was just happy to get back to a "normal" diet once the month ended.
For February I kept it simple: no neck cracking. I had (still have) a bad habit or wrenching my skull around until a vertebra or two let out a satisfying pop. This was difficult as stopping this regular stretch-and-release cycle caused my neck muscles to tighten. I stuck with it though, but really I should have just gone to a chiropractor or gotten a couple of massages.
March was ambitious: run at least 50 miles during the month. When I was younger I often jogged around the Oakland hills. I missed the exercise and all the associated meditative practices. I hadn't exerted myself like that in a while, so I took it easy on the first day. Surprised how little I suffered doing a basic mile, I decided to push it the second afternoon, running down the fire trail behind the Space Sciences Lab after work. I ended up going about 4 miles, which strained some of my joints. I've always had minor knee and hip issues that flare up when jogging, and I set them off already. I kept it real for a couple weeks but never really recovered from that second day. Due to the pain (and busy schedule) I ended up having to bail after a few weeks just before reaching my goal. Meh. Good enough.
I decided that in April I'd finally get around to mixing a bunch of recordings I've been sitting on for years. Well, turns out if you procrastinate decades to finish a piece of music, what's another month? Plus other band/work/life priorities ended up being insurmountable, which is fair. So I ended up not being as motivated as I would have hoped. I did break the dam on a few songs, but at this point in my life I was pretty sure the whole music career was over. I had a good run, and I'll just keep dinking around in bands and poking on this self-produced recordings until I don't.
In May I motivated to finally build my first iPhone app. I've been meaning to get back into programming for fun. I even felt inspired by a great idea: a basic app that showed a thought bubble on the screen in which you could type any text, and then you could hold the phone over other people's heads and let the laughs roll in. This should have taken me five minutes. Okay maybe ten. But I encountered three major hurdles: 1. Registering (including payment) to be an official Apple app developer just so I could load my own apps onto my own phone, 2. Learning Objective C which back then was the programming language you had to use (I'm a C programmer but can't stand C++ and Obj-C was like an even more annoyingly squishy version of C++), and 3. Grokking the whole development kit ecosystem. I did eventually get a buggy version working, but it totally wasn't fun at all!
And that's it. Nobody noticed or cared that I did any of the above and I hadn't much to show for any of it. That's fine, as I did this for myself - but even still I wasn't seeing much benefit from what felt like constant self-abuse. So I unceremoniously gave the fuck up and got on with my life. [insert sad trombone]
On a positive note, whether "successful" or not I did prove to myself I could give anything a shot for a month. And also the eventual outcomes of all the above attempts, more than 10 years on, aren't so bad.
I learned a lot about nutrition since, and where to draw the lines. I have happily completed a few "Whole 30" diets where I'd eat pretty much nothing but meats, nuts, veggies, and whole fruits (i.e. no dried fruits - which killed me during the aforementioned "no sugar" diet). Thirty days of sticking to that limited menu was hugely beneficial and totally doable.
After years of pointless avoidance I treated myself to a good chiropractor who realigned my neck/shoulders/back any time I was feeling off. I also made occasional use of the perfectly good massage therapists who set up shop literally a half block from my house. So stupid how I previously avoided getting real, essential body work done.
As far as jogging, I do run from time to time, usually shortly after a birthday, just to prove I can still do it without killing myself at whatever new age. But I can't do it regularly without injury. However I've taken to hiking regularly. At peak I average over 4 miles a day for months at a time. I'm in the middle of such a stretch now. Not bad for a person with two sit-heavy careers.
Turns out, though seeming like minimal progress at the time, pecking at those recordings was the push that finally got me to finish the first Bodies Floating Ashore album. Plus shortly after that I found myself in three inspiring and very active bands. My 40s were far more fun and exciting music-wise than my 20s and 30s by a long shot.
And finally, regarding app development: fuck Apple, fuck all modern OSes, and fuck all modern programming languages. It's all so very stupid. I still enjoy my work but also look forward to a retirement where I'll have more time to help develop a whole other, better internet for myself and like minded people. I could rant forever about the state of modern computing, but I'll just end by quoting myself: "Programming in 1980: erecting castles. Programming nowadays: assembling Ikea furniture."