Laredo
After a late gig in NYC we needed to park the van and trailer somewhere safe. Luckily Toby lived in an apartment with a protected parking lot. However upon arriving we were horrified to find some brand new black Jeep Laredo blocking the driveway. We leaned on the horn to get whatever asshole's attention to come out and move their damn vehicle. Nobody appeared. So now what?
The police were called. A half hour later a cop arrived to tag the vehicle for towing, but he couldn't legally recommend an outfit to do the actual tow. After the cop split Toby called around to find somebody willing to haul this car away at 2:00am. Meanwhile Timba went to get some beers for us to enjoy while waiting out on the sidewalk.
Eventually the truck appeared. We cheered and drank up during all the following procedures which were incredibly glorious to behold.
First, since the jeep was so tightly parked in, the tow guy crawled underneath and hooked a chain to its undercarriage. It was then yanked sideways by the truck into the street. Screech.
Second, he had to get the jeep into neutral, which meant getting inside. However it was difficult to slim jim this brand new car. So, fuck it, he just pulled on the driver's side window. And pulled and pulled until the whole frame was sufficiently warped and he could effortlessly reach in and unlock the door.
But our tow hero still couldn't get it into neutral due to some modern theft prevention mechanism. And so, finally, he just lifted it up by the front wheels and dragged the fucker away. Those tires were immediately destroyed.
The fucked up jeep, the echoes of wheels scraping on pavement, and the stench of burnt rubber disappeared into the night. That was so, so, so very satisfying.